Clearly you are attracted to the wrong guys, and that is unhealthy . If you don’t find them attractive, it’d be pretty difficult to overlook the annoying part of them, and you’d probably resent them over time. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

One of the best things about dating someone you are not physically attracted to is that they make you feel comfortable in yourself. You never have to worry about them judging you based on your appearance because they are not interested in you that way. This can be a great relief, especially if you have been previously judged by people who were only interested in you for your looks. A relationship with someone who is always optimistic can be contagious. Their upbeat attitude can rub off on you, lifting your spirits and helping you see life’s bright side, even when things are tough.

You can broaden your own definition of what is ‘good looking’, or more importantly, what you’re looking for in a fulfilling relationship and partner. If you give them a chance and get to know them better, you may find yourself attracted to things about them that you didn’t even realize were attractive. This is much less likely in a relationship where you were attracted to someone for their personality than just their looks. Hack Spirit is one of the leading authorities providing practical and accessible relationship advice.

Things to consider when dating someone you’re not physically attracted to

They might have been nervous and less confident than they normally are, so it’s worth giving them a second chance and seeing how another date goes. A lot of us have a type, but, if we’re being honest with ourselves, our type isn’t always actually right for us. When we find someone very physically attractive, we become more self-conscious. Over the years, our perceptions of beauty have narrowed until the definition of attractiveness has become incredibly limited.

Focus on what you have in common

Look for someone with whom you have a great rapport. You want someone who “gets you.” That’s long-term attractive. Lots of people end up with someone that isn’t their ‘type’, and there are actually some positive benefits to dating someone you’re not attracted to. As a man who has dated someone that I wasn’t attracted to. I cheated multiple times, and I had to end it because there was no point.

Instead, acknowledge how they feel but restate your intention to break things off. Of course, it’s important to be attracted to your partner on some level – but there’s more to a relationship than just physical attraction. If you’re not physically attracted to someone but you enjoy their company and they make you happy, then that’s all that should matter.

This emotional attraction and connection take you from dating to wanting to be in a committed relationship. Remove the physical attraction, and you’ll no longer feel self-conscious about how you look, how you sound, or whether you’re interesting enough. There will be no pressure to “perform.” It’ll feel easy and comfortable, the same as it does when spending time with a friend. And you can focus all your energy on building emotional attraction with this man and seeing if your personalities and values match.

It is a serious commitment with serious consequences. And while there will always be some risk involved in such a complex commitment, many take it for granted. Take the wife who complained to me that her husband stared at other women when they first met—she thought after marriage he would focus on her alone. You instantly feel more connected when making eye contact with someone.

Additionally, they may be less likely to take you for granted and may appreciate you more for who you are. If you are open-minded and willing to try it, you might be surprised at how well a relationship with someone you are not physically attracted to can work out. Being open to new experiences is one of the best parts of being in a relationship. Whether trying a new food or travelling to a new country, embracing the unfamiliar can help bring you closer together. It also allows you to learn more about your partner and see them differently. It’s not my place to tell you to make things work with this nice guy who loves you.

Because you’re such an adventurer at heart, nothing turns you on more than the quintessential “bad boy” or the “manic pixie dream girl” who’s gonna save you from a life of mundane normalcy. Although your visionary and free-spirited makes you hard to tie down, it does mean that you deserve a lover who brings you back down to Earth when you require grounding. And if being with your crush is making you listen to the little devil on your shoulder far too often, you might want to take it as a warning that danger lies ahead. If you’re not feeling attracted to someone, don’t feel like there is something wrong with you. Just because this man or woman has everything anyone in the Catholic dating world would desire, that doesn’t mean they are right for you. You’re not alone if you’re discerning whether or not to keep dating someone your’e not attracted to.

When I reflect on my own relational past, there were two men, specifically, who I most definitely were not attracted to. They were also two of the best men that I’ve ever known to this day. The only reason why I know this about them, though, is because I pushed past the initial lack of physical attraction and got to know them as people.

I can explain this phenomenon – as author Barry Schwartz did for a few hundred pages in his amazing book, but, at the end of the day, we can’t help ourselves. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you’re looking for in a partner, or valuing certain traits. And yet, so many interesting things can happen if and when you decide to date someone whose personality doesn’t match your usual “type,” that it just might be worth a try.

You might end up finding their personality so attractive that the physical attraction blossoms over time. Tell them if you don’t see the relationship going anywhere. The longer you wait to let them know, the more you could hurt their feelings. Use that to turn your love life around and find real happiness whether or not the guy is perfectly physically attractive to you. If all you feel that’s missing is that physical attraction, the good news is that this can change. Even though you may not have ever been “Facebook official,” chances are that you and the other person are somehow connected on social media.